Proverbs Parody

A collection of seriously funny proverbs...

No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Crowded elevator smells different to midgets

Judge not a man by his clothes, but by his wife's clothes.
- Thomas R. Dewar

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
- Will Rogers

Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
- Martin Mull

You cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
- Author Unknown

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
- Robert Benchley

If they could figure out a way to channel my anger, they could solve the energy crisis.
- Woody Allen

A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people.
- Gilbert Chesterton

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. (I love this one)

Now check out this Yoruba proverb:
Bí abá so òkò sójà ará ilé eni ní bá;

* Translation: He who throws a stone in the market will hit his relative
(Trust me, if he aims really well, it won't)

Wishing you a nyce day! @ moi frequency *wink*